


Friend to the Friendless

by Codydarkstalker



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff and Humor, M/M, Spider-man (ps4)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2019-02-03 06:05:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12742467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Codydarkstalker/pseuds/Codydarkstalker
Summary: Peter Parker is having a hard enough time juggling his work with Dr. Octavius, his time with his Aunt May at the shelter, and his on again (mostly off again) ex Mary Jane. And then a giant lunatic with swords strapped to his back climbs up his fire escape.





	Friend to the Friendless

**Author's Note:**

> I made some edits to this chapter, and the story in general, so that it will now fit into the timeline for Spider-man on PS4. Game spoilers ahead.

Peter stood frozen in the frame of the sliding door. There was a man on his balcony. Rather, there was a man desperately clinging to the side of his balcony and trying to pull himself over the ledge. This would have been upsetting, but not that strange, except the balcony was fifteen stories up, and the man in question was wearing a leather bodysuit and a full face mask. He also had what looked like a pair of swords strapped to his back.

He took a moment to run through his rogues gallery. It clearly wasn’t Scorpion or Shocker or Rhino. Vulture wouldn’t need to climb. He couldn’t recall any villain he had fought that wore red and used a sword. For a brief moment he wondered if Daredevil had gotten a new look. 

“Can I get a hand here?” The man’s voice was cheerful, if not a bit muffled behind his mask. “I mean, this would be a nasty fall if I slipped.”

Peter grabbed his watering can and held it up like a protective shield and inched forward. He could see the patios near his, and none had a rope or ladder attached to them. Unless the man could crawl up walls like he could, in which case he needed no help, he wasn’t sure how he had even gotten so high up.

He was still debating the best course of action when the man decided to try and pull himself up. He managed to haul himself up to the railing and tried to swing his leg over. Unfortunately when he leaned back to move his leg, his weight shifted and he started falling backwards, hands grabbing at empty air.

“Crap!” Peter’s spidey senses went into overdrive. He moved without thinking, dropping the watering can and lunging forward to catch the man by the arm. He managed to haul him up and over the railing, and dropped him on the floor.

“Hey! You saved me!” The man sat up and patted himself down as if checking everything was still where it was supposed to be. “Thanks a lot man, that fall would have suuuucked.” He peeked through the bars of the railing. “I’m also like 75% sure that if I fell I would have landed in those dumpsters, and that would have been awful.”

“How did you get on my balcony?” Peter asked flatly. He was filled with adrenaline, and his super senses were in overdrive. So far no one had connected Peter Parker with Spiderman, but it was hard not to worry when a masked man showed up on his doorstep. “And who are you?”

“Oh, me?” The eyes on the man’s mask seemed to widen in shock. “You don’t recognize me?” He struggled to his feet and struck a dramatic pose. “I’m Deadpool!”

“Who?” Peter looked the man up and down. He was a big guy, over six feet tall, and wearing heavy boots that made him bigger, with muscles large enough to be clearly defined through all that leather.

The man dropped slightly. “Deadpool? No? Nothing?” he gestured to himself. “I mean, I’m kind of a big deal. I have an add in the yellow pages!”

Peter shrugged. “I mostly use the phone book to prop the door open.” He took a quick glance back at his apartment. The sliding door was still open, and he could feel the warm air from the heater coming out. “So...what were you doing out here?”

Deadpool fished in one of the many pouches on his costume and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. After he smoothed it out a bit he held it up. It was a crude crayon drawing of Spider-man, and several small rough maps of the surrounding streets. “I’m supposed to be looking for this guy, you seen him?”

Peter froze, focusing in on the paper. “I mean, that’s Spider-man right?” he asked, voice weak. “Everyone knows Spider-man.” he took the piece of paper and looked it over. It was covered in little notes in chicken scratch handwriting. ‘Spider-man, works near midtown?’ ‘Nice Ass!!’

Deadpool nodded. “Yeah, but the thing is, I am on a job, and that job is to find Spider-man. And I know you, and I know that you know something.” He took a step forward, crowding Peter towards the wall. “I know that you know, and now you know that I know that you...something…” He seemed to lose a bit of steam at the end.

Peter pulled back, weighing his options in his mind. He could climb the wall and escape, he could even attack the man, he was strong, but both options would make it clear he wasn’t just some average joe in a nice studio apartment. He decided to take a gamble.

“So, what do I know?” Peter asked hesitantly. The man was strange, but he wasn’t violent yet. Maybe he could just talk the guy down.

Deadpool pulled back to dig in another pouch. “You know how great Spider-man’s ass is for one thing,” he said, shoving a handful of photos into Peter's hands. “I mean, you work those angles in all the right ways.”

“Okay..” Peter raised an eyebrow. “So that means...what exactly?” he looked down at the photos. They were all pictures of Spider-man that he had taken. A half dozen of his high quality selfies, that he had sold to the Bugle as part of his work as a staff photographer.

“I know how to point a camera?”

Deadpool laughed and pulled out one of the pictures. In that image, Spider-man was perched on the glassy side of a building, his reflection crisp as clear, and the sky behind him a beautiful fade of oranges and purples. “See, this is a great photo.” He waved it in Peter’s face. “Great colors, nice contrast, good framing. It’s good work, really. I might get this one blown up poster size.”

“Thanks?” Peter shrugged his shoulder. “I’m still not sure I’m following.”

“Well, the thing is I have looked at your pictures a lot.” Deadpool waved the photos in the air. “And I mean a lot. I mean, that ass, right? But while I was drooling over spider booty I noticed a little something.”

“What?” Peter looked over every shot ever given to Jameson before it was published. None of the shots were taken anywhere near his apartment, and none of them contained any hints to Spider-man’s true identity. “You think Spider-man is stuffing the front of his suit?” he laughed hollowly.

Deadpool shook his head. “Nah, nothing like that. I mean, it’s kinda obvious he’s got a cup or something anyways. No, the issue is, there’s no way you could have taken these pictures.” He threw a number of photos on the ground. “None of these pictures were taken at a angle a person could have gotten to from any balcony, rooftop, or window.”

Peter resisted the urge to panic. Deadpool was right, a lot of his shots were done by rigging cameras up with webbing and setting timers. He had never wasted much time on where the camera was placed, other than making sure no one would find them by accident. Jameson never asked how he had gotten a shot, he just took the pictures and paid him.

“So I was thinking,” Deadpool continued, unaware of Peter’s stunned silence. “Maybe you didn’t take some of these pictures. Maybe Spider-man did.”

“Now, why would he do that?” Peter challenged, not wanting to give an inch. “What would make Spider-man take selfies and give them to me to sell to a newspaper that mostly prints garbage about him?”

Deadpool shrugged and stopped to scoop up the pictures. “No idea, but I thought you might know.”

“So you decided to come and ask me...via my balcony?” Peter asked, still unsure if he was following the other man’s logic. Assuming there was any kind of logic.

“Oh, yeah, I was actually trying to ninja my way in, maybe poke around. Ya know.” Deadpool stuffed the papers back into his pouches. “Big part of the job is recon ya know.”

“I don’t actually,” Peter replied, backing up a bit. “And you can’t just break into my apartment.”

“Well obviously,” Deadpool whined. “It’s like, a really far climb, it sucked. Also, you were home and that kinda made things harder.” His mask shifted, hinting at a smile.

“Okay then.” Peter turned back towards the door to his apartment. “I should be going now, good luck with whatever it is you’re doing.”

Deadpool lunged forward, falling and grabbing Peter around the ankles. “Aww! Come on, don’t just leave me out here in the cold!”

Peter stared down at the man. “First of all, I’m not going to let you ransack my home in some crazy attempt to find evidence of some Spider-man selfie conspiracy. Second of all, you got up here yourself, this is kind of on you.” He attempted to shake the other man off.

“Okay well what if I trade you? I might not have much on the photos but there is some good dirt I did dig up on Spidey. You work for the Bugle, wouldn’t they pay you for that?” Deadpool looked up at Peter hopefully, still maintaining a crushing grip on his ankles.

That made Peter pause. Real dirt, could it be possible? The masked man seemed a little off, but not too dangerous. And if it was possible he had information…Or money… He let hs gaze drift to the pile of mail by his door, and the overdue rent notice right on top of the stack.

“I pay cash!” Deadpool offered.

“Fine.”


End file.
